Q-Beg your pardon?
A-I offend the Female Sex every chance I get.
Q-Then you're a female sex-offender?
A-Watch that syntax!
Q-Where do you do most of your offending?
A-I write dicta and dogma to the many American women who are slobs and over-sublimated Lesbians!
Q-I see; and where can we find this dogma?
A-On WALLS.
Q-Eh?
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A-I dip my quill on every wall I pass, all over town. Often I must wear a
a cunning little disguise to reach the right wall.
Q-Did your mother ever spank you?
A-Yes. Daily. With a little choker of pearls.
Q-Did you ever cheat at school?
A-NOBODY cheats at Smith.
Q-What shall we do with Alcatraz ?
A-After launching my FAT CONVICT CONTEST, I plan to tear it down and build a Reducing Salon. All the winners get a free raft-ride to Angel Island.
Q-What is your primary reaction to Liz Taylor's shocking behavior? A-ENVY!
Q-Do you believe America should preserve its sex-symbols?
A-Only in EUROPE do they know how to make sex out of symbols.
Q-Then you feel Europeans are more symbol-minded than their American cousins?
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A-A European woman wouldn't DREAM of leaving the house with curlers
in her hair.
Q-Why not?
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A-Her husband has her hand-cuffed to the bed, and she can't move.
Q-How do you balance your budget?
A-I crash dinner parties every chance I get.
Q-What do you think of Telstar?
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A-It would make a GORGEOUS tiarra!
Q-Do you feel American women are emasculating their men?
A-Certainly. Look at me!
Q-What is your all-time favorite love story?
A-"How to Succeed in Bed Without Really Moving," by Elsa Maxwell.
Q-Do you believe we should save 'The Fox'?
A-No-it's wolves we need more of in this country-WOLVES!
Q-What do you think of the proposal to tear down City Hall and build an Amphitheater?
A-It would make a cuter Reducing Salon.
Q-How do you feel about sending women to the Moon?
A-Let's get up a Group right now!
Q-Would you want your sister to be an Astronaut?
A-Everybody's sister! If they can squeeze all those bulges into a capsule, I can hear countdowns in breakfast nooks all over America! Q-What is your opinion of The Powder Puff Derby?
A-All those girls look like Lindbergh to me. Nothing but saggy jowls, nasal voices and basic black. COVERALLS!
Q-Do you feel we Americans place too much emphasis on the Big Bosom? A-Indeed I do!
Q-What remedial measures do you prescribe? A-Amputation.
Q-Then you find more charm in the Flat Chest?
A-You said a mouthful!
Q-What do you think of the 'Jackie Look'? A-SOME fellows can get away with it.
Q-Do you think Mrs. Kennedy should do the Green Room over in Gold Lamé?
A-I feel MORE American Women should do their Green Rooms over. And they should scrub the floors and the ceilings and the washbasins and make old-fashioned stews and get out that ironing-board and press and press and keep those pots boiling for their men in their old-fashioned Green Rooms!
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